{"id":195,"date":"2012-03-06T11:46:40","date_gmt":"2012-03-06T11:46:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/?p=195"},"modified":"2012-03-06T12:19:12","modified_gmt":"2012-03-06T12:19:12","slug":"10-dating-lessons-from-abcs-the-bachelor-say-no-to-dating-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/195\/10-dating-lessons-from-abcs-the-bachelor-say-no-to-dating-game\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Dating Lessons from ABC’s “The Bachelor” … say no to dating game"},"content":{"rendered":"

TV can be educational, and not just the PBS channel and Sesame Street,\u00a0the how-to shows like Painting with Bob Ross, and the evening news on warnings regarding arsenic in apple juice or fungicide in the orange juice\u00a0(watch your laptop\u00a0if you are spitting it out now!).\u00a0 On\u00a0The Nanny, <\/em>Brighton Sheffield\u00a0learns loyalty from watching Gilligan’s Island;<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0on the TV dating shows you might learn what not<\/em> to do…and even some tips on finding love and how to play the ‘dating game’ … like it’s not a game.<\/p>\n

Reality TV may\u00a0seem more fake than real at times, but it doesn’t just<\/em> offer\u00a0a manual on different\u00a0ways of swapping spit and ideas on\u00a0what to do\/where to go\u00a0on your dates, especially if money’s no object.\u00a0 Season 16 of “The Bachelor”, ABC’s long – and more expensive – version of\u00a0 The Love Connection<\/em>,\u00a0is coming to a close next week with the two-hour season finale, as viewers will learn who the Bachelor Ben Flajnik chooses to marry and perhaps proposes to – quirky Courtney Robertson (model) or nice Lindzi Cox (business development manager)\u00a0– both 28 and from Santa Monuica, CA, but almost like total opposites.\u00a0\u00a0Last night\u00a0ABC aired the “The Bachelor: The Women Tell All”.\u00a0\u00a0What a spoiler when the surprise guest Courtney was flustered after saying, “I\u2019m sorry for hurting Ben. I cared for him…and I still do.” –\u00a0the “still do” added after an awkward pause and exchanging a glance with\u00a0the\u00a0evidently uncomfortable host, Chris Harrison, who then quickly jumps in to move the conversation along.\u00a0 And\u00a0then later in the next segment, Ben\u00a0says, “This whole watching the show thing is difficult. I\u2019m realizing the way this all plays out. I didn\u2019t get to see it, obviously.”\u00a0 The references being to\u00a0the behind-the-scenes footage\u00a0with Courtney and the quarrels with the other\u00a0ladies on the show who felt she was just treating the experience like a game to win, playing all her cards, bluffing at times.\u00a0 So what to get from all this “real-life” drama, besides that ABC likes to change it up for ratings\u00a0and it looks like Ben chose and proposed to Courtney …\u00a0besides the world tour of tourist attractions\u00a0… the bigger picture on love and finding love…<\/p>\n

1) First impressions can get you in the door, like a job interview it’s important.\u00a0 But if you’re not the right person, you’re not going to\u00a0keep the job even if you land the job at first.<\/p>\n

2) Like in school, participation can be very important.\u00a0 The teacher knows the shy A student knows the answer but not until they already have graded papers or already heard about the student from previous teachers.\u00a0 Better you tell and show the other person the nice and great person\u00a0you are, than them getting the third hand account, or even not getting to know the real you.<\/p>\n

3) Proximity counts.\u00a0 Sharing experiences with each other counts.\u00a0 It brings a couple together and lets you learn about each other.\u00a0 Now whether you stay together and “click”… that depends on whether you are really a match.<\/p>\n

4) How you treat others matters.\u00a0 Not just how you treat the one you want to impress.\u00a0 Nothing says that clearer on this season’s “The Bachelor” than Courtney’s experience.\u00a0 You\u00a0know that saying, that if you want to know how your husband will treat you in life, look at how he treats his mom.\u00a0 How attractive is a guy that treats his family and friends with respect and love.\u00a0 Cute inside and out – really if you are not cute inside,\u00a0the outside does not look cute anymore.<\/p>\n

5)\u00a0 What you believe in, your background, is a part of you.\u00a0 Opposites may attract, but maybe not.<\/p>\n

6) Be yourself.\u00a0 Be true to yourself.\u00a0 You want your match to love you<\/em>.\u00a0 If there’s no match, it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with either of you, just that there’s no match.\u00a0 But that doesn’t mean you can’t grow or change something if you want.<\/p>\n

7) When you find your match it feels easy, you feel comfortable around them, you feel like you can be and you are yourself, all of yourself.\u00a0 But it doesn’t mean necessarily that you don’t have to work on your relationship at all.<\/p>\n

8) Is it bad to wear your heart on your sleeve?\u00a0 If you think someone is “the one” after the first date, the one you want to marry, that you love them…should you\u00a0tell them right then … like Ted telling Robin he loves her after his first date on “How I met your Mother”.\u00a0 … Follow your instinct.\u00a0 And refer to #6.\u00a0\u00a0 Some people would probably like it if they felt\u00a0the same way.\u00a0 Or it might scare some people away.<\/p>\n

9) Don’t play the dating game like it’s a game.\u00a0 How did it get called that?\u00a0 Maybe because sometimes it feels like a game.\u00a0 Be honest.\u00a0 No turn on for The Bachelor’s<\/em> Ben watching Courtney looking like she’s “playing the dating game” or looking like she was “playing” Ben and perhaps not in it for real love, but just to “win the game”.\u00a0 Similarly, The Bachelor’s<\/em> Emily Maynard\u00a0was uneasy watching all the\u00a0episodes of her then fiance Brad Womack\u00a0making out with all of the other women when the show aired. The next Bachelorette – Emily Maynard.<\/p>\n

10) Jerry Seinfeld gave some good advice (on another show) – don’t be an accountant when in a relationship.\u00a0 Don’t keep count of who called last – or how many times he\/she called and how many times you called.\u00a0 Then again, if you’re doing everything, he\/she might\u00a0just not be that into you.\u00a0 If you’re on a show like “The Bachelor”, these signs can be hard to read if the guy is kissing you and showing his affection to you.\u00a0 You might be in for a surprise at the next rose ceremony.<\/p>\n

The two-hour season finale of The Bachelor<\/em> airs next Monday, March 12th, at 8\/7c\u00a0on ABC, followed by a one-hour “After the Rose” special.\u00a0 Do you think Ben accomplished his goal of finding true love?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Find your true love on the best free dating site\u00a0& free Facebook dating app, Friends Match Me!\u00a0 Click on the top right “Login With Facebook button” to join now!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

TV can be educational, and not just the PBS channel and Sesame Street,\u00a0the how-to shows like Painting with Bob Ross, and the evening news on warnings regarding arsenic in apple juice or fungicide in the orange juice\u00a0(watch your laptop\u00a0if you … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[50],"tags":[102,107,105,103,19,106,109,108,104,101,110,35],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=195"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":198,"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195\/revisions\/198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.friendsmatchme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}